I am a newlywed. Don't everyone gasp at once, it wasn't that unexpected. I mean, sure, I was thirty-three before I finally found "the one" and settled down. And yes, there were all kinds of whispers and pointed comments about whether or not I'd ever get off of the "Single Train." Naysayers all, but in the end I found a keeper - a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman who can actually put up with my puerile, juvenile behavior.

Now that the "hard part" is done - I've found the girl, taken the vows, introduced the cats - it's time to get to the "impossible part." Combining our stuff.

I have a lot of stuff. Call it a hobby, but I've been collecting stuff since birth. And sadly, I have to admit that I still have most of the stuff that's ever passed through my stubby little fingers. After thirty-three years of collecting, the piles have gotten unreasonably tall, unfathomably deep, and alarming wobbly. Now enter Kara.

Kara, at a scant 29-years-old, has nevertheless managed to accumulate a great deal of stuff herself. Maybe not on the grand scale of my ode to materialism, but she remains a competitor.

By ourselves, we are individuals with a lot stuff. Together, we are a couple with a monstrous mountain of things that threatens to cave in on us at any given moment. We are charged with the nearly impossible chore of sorting, organizing, and placing each of the myriad items in our possession. It's an overwhelming task. Our sanity is threatened.

It's times like these when I begging to wonder if maybe it's just not worth it. Should we, perhaps, consider getting rid of our stuff? I mean, the idea of a much simpler existence, devoid of heavy boxes to move and a million small items to dust, does appeal to me. Perhaps we should go the other extreme and sell everything we own, donate what won't sell, and live a Spartan and simple existence. Amish-like in it's simplicity.

Could I do that? I'm not sure. It does have a certain appeal. But would I be able to make that final decision? Could I say, once and for all, "I'm done. World, have at it! Take what you want and leave me only what I need to survive?"

Probably not. But maybe there's no need to go to such an extreme. Maybe all I really need is to just cull the pile a little. Get the clutter under control. Get rid of the non-essentials in as many areas as I can stand.

It's going to take forever. Heck, maybe I'll just keep it all.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the editor of ViewOnline Magazine and a freelance writer. He is the owner of the production company, Hat Digital Media. He is hiding in the piles of clutter because he feels safe there.