Eating Lotus Leaves

When I was a kid, about six or seven, I asked my step dad for a metal box. He gave me the requisite "curious look" and managed to dig a small, red tool box out of the shed, empty it of its contents and hand it over in a relatively clean state. He didn't even ask me what it was for, bless him. By this time he knew I'd have some strange idea in mind.

And I did. I wanted to build a computer.

See, at this point in my life the associations I had made about computers involved things like "metal box" and "control time and space." Or some other neat equivalent thing. Play games, built space ship, tell me the answers to test questions. This would have been in the late 70's - a time when the home computer was mostly a myth or a dream, and a young, country dwelling soul such as myself had no hope of owning one anyway. But I knew that one of the prerequisites was "metal box," and once I possessed one I figured I was 90% home on building a super computer of my very own.

As time went by, I started school and eventually I was introduced to a REAL computer. The famous Apple IIe - a state of the art machine that did remarkable things like "beep," "flash a cursor" and even "glow green." Oh, there were actual graphics on the IIe, and we did learn programming (something that I think every child should learn). But it was far from the pocket mainframe I carry with me these days. It was a simpler machine for a simpler time. It was great for doing things like writing papers or creating interesting graphics based on math problems. But not much else.

As more time went by technology began to advance, and eventually I was exposed to much more powerful computers with better graphics and more capabilities. My newspaper class in high school even received a brand new set of Macs to allow us to write and print our stories and even do some early version of desktop publishing. But I was more in love with the teacher's desktop PC, which to me seemed to be a far superior machine with its DOS interface and large collection of games and software. I started to yearn for one of my very own. Oh the things I would do with it!

Around this time I managed to talk my grandparents into getting me a computer of my own. I ended up with a Commodore 128, which was perhaps one of the best computers I've ever owned. Remarkable graphics and a bevy of useful software allowed me to do things I had only dreamt of before. I wrote all of my papers on it, wrote stories and articles on it, created my own graphics, and even started my own computer bulletin board service (BBS was the forerunner of today's internet as far as sharing files and keeping in digital contact with other human beings goes).

I went through a few more computers in that time - the Amiga was probably the coolest, but I eventually got hold of an IBM that could do... well... not much. But it was great for writing! And that's pretty much what it was intended for. But the better technology became, the more ravenous my appetite for a new machine. And suddenly, I just HAD to have the latest and greatest available.

And now, today, I have it. In fact, I have several. My household has no fewer than two laptop computers and two desktop PCs. I also have an iMac. My office has a desktop PC with dual monitors. I have a Pocket PC phone/pda. I even have a loaner laptop that I've let a good friend use for his own writing. In short, I have more computers than that 6-year-old asking for a metal box could ever have hoped for.

But what's funny is, I seem to get LESS done these days than I did before. For all its functionality, I seem to spend more time futzing with my laptop than using it to write. Having Internet access and e-mail is the most powerful set of tools I could ever have imagined, but I tend to spend most of my morning going through digitial junk mail and very little time writing the column/article/story/novel/letter I wanted to write.

I used to sit with an electric typewriter and work for hours on scripts and books and short stories. Now I spend that time trying to get my laptop to connect to my wireless router so I can check Drudge Report.

I used to draw for hours on pads of paper, honing my art skills by creating exciting and interesting things no one had ever seen before. Now I piddle with Photoshop, making my photos look better as they sit for eternity on my hard drive.

Technology is my friend, I welcome it into my home every evening. But it sure seems like I'm missing out on something these days. It seems like I was so impatient for a "super computer" only to find out that owning one is like eating the lotus leaves - dulling my senses and keeping me from having any ambition beyond watching TV while my e-mail downloads.

I'll have to work on that.

E-mail Kevin at kevin@viewonline.com. He can't wait until computers are mind controlled so he doesn't have to type.

posted by Unknown @ 8:38 AM