I think human beings get a bad rap.  The whole “man’s inhumanity to man” thing takes over, we all feel victimized, we think that everyone is out to get us.  And yeah, it does come across that way some times.  This morning, as I was leaving for my office, I saw that a brand new Envoy had a window busted out so that someone could get inside and steal whatever was in there.  It’s inhumane alright – it’s unjust and unfair.  It’s a couple of kids looking for quick cash who could care less about their “fellow man.”

It’s a couple of kids – but not humanity as a whole.

I am guilty of jumping to conclusions about the human race.  I admit that I’ve been somewhat of a pessimist towards my kind in times past.  I’ve been known to double check that my doors are locked when I stop at a light and see that someone is standing on the sidewalk.  I can be distrustful of other people sometimes.

Maybe distrust isn’t such a bad thing.  It protects you, somewhat.  Keeps you on guard.  Of course, if anyone really wished you harm then locking your car door probably wouldn’t be that much of a deterrent.  Better to be safe than sorry, though.  Except that this attitude of distrust tends to bleed over into the rest of our daily lives.

I grew up in the country – dealing with the homeless or worrying about your car being broken into wasn’t really part of my upbringing.  I spent my youth leaving my bike out in the front yard, wandering far from my home during the day without the worry of being “snatched,” and as I grew older and got a car, I often left the doors unlocked with my valuables right out in the open.  Heck, until I was in my late teens our front door stayed unlocked whether we were home or not!

But times have changed.  There’s no way I’d do those things now.  Having my car stereo stolen at 18 made me start locking my car door with a compulsion.  Learning that someone had been in my house while I was away forced me to develop the habit of locking the doors and windows tight.  The inhumanity of man made me afraid and made me start taking precautions.

What would the world be like if everyone followed the “golden rule?”  Remember that one?  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Simple.  Elegant.  To the point.  Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Ultimately it’s the unknown that we don’t trust.  It’s not the guys we play basketball with or the girl we know from the grocery store that we think will rob us or hurt us.  It’s not the people we know well, it’s the people we’ve never met.  We’re unafraid of the kid that lives next door because we’ve known him since birth, but we’re scared to death of kid who just appeared in the neighborhood sporting tattoos, oily long hair and a t-shirt advertising a band we’ve never heard of.  But chances are if we could get to know him better we wouldn’t be scared of him either.

I know – even if you have a policy of open trust and genuine concern for others, there’s no guarantee that you won’t be robbed or mugged or taken advantage of.  That’s true.  There is an element of evil in this world – it dominates the lives of many.  There are people in this world who do not care about you, themselves or anyone else.  They take joy in hurt and pain and misery.  It’s true, but it’s not “the truth.”  No matter how bad it may seem around you, the fact is that people who are so filled with hate and self-loathing that they are irredeemable are actually very rare.  Out of the millions of people in this country alone, the majority of them care at lest somewhat for someone other than themselves.  Most choose to care only for those people they know – some rare few care for everyone around them with passion and heartfelt love. 

Everyone is seeking respect.  Some are misguided as to what “respect” means, but they’re still seeking it.  Even gang-bangers are looking for respect – and they find a sort of pseudo loyalty and honor in the group they join.  They may be outside of society but they are part of something.  That’s what everyone is looking for.  How much simpler… how much happier would life be if they would only realize that they can get the respect they want just by treating others the way they’d want to be treated?

The word “humanity” is kind of funny.  On the one hand, it’s a noun describing the “human race” considered as a whole.  On the other, it describes the QUALITIES of what it means to BE human.  And yet again, “humanity” is a synonym for “kindness.”  To treat someone with humanity is to treat them with respect.  Funny, huh?  The word that describes our entire race is also used to describe a kindness to a member of that race.  From the whole to the individual.  Society serves the individual, not the other way around.

That’s a concept that seems somewhat foreign to us these days.  We know all about sacrificing for the good of the whole.  “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”  It never seems to occur to us that the needs of the one might be more important at any given time than the needs of society as a whole.  It should – society, “humanity” is made up of individuals.  What impacts one impacts us all.  Sometimes in small ways, sometimes in a grand display.  But always, always there is an impact.

An infant dies from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and the parents grieve, their friends grieve, their church grieves… so many people mourning the loss of one individual who wasn’t even old enough to contribute to society by our standard definition!  And at the same time, a plane crashes, thousands are dead, and the impact is felt in the same way.  The death of one, the death of many – both can be earth shaking moments in the lives of others.

So, too, can life.  A child born with a terminal disease gets another chance at life because of kidney transplant – we all rejoice!  Thank God!  No child should have his or her life cut short.  And, as a group of hostages are freed from the madman holding them at gunpoint we rejoice as well!  Thank God! No one should have to endure the fear of being killed at the hands of a terrorist!

Is it difficult to envision a world where we take into consideration every human life?  Is it tough to picture a world where the individual is every bit as important as the group?  On a jury of 12 people, all twelve get a vote.  If one says “not guilty” and the others say “guilty,” the individual’s vote is still important.  It still must be considered, understood, taken into account.  There are rules of majority rule, but the needs of the few should always be considered along with the decision of the many.

Humanity.  It is our task to be humane to each other.  We are charged with the duty – the honor and privilege! – of treating every individual we encounter with the same respect and kindness that we in turn would want for ourselves.  When we meet a salesperson in a store, a waitress or waiter in a restaurant, a tech support guy on the phone, or even a homeless man or woman on the street, it is our task to treat them with humanity.  A kind word instead of frustration.  Respect instead of distrust.  Honor instead of distastefulness.  Our job as humanity is to treat others humanely, whether they would return the favor or not.  It’s the humane thing to do.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline Magazine at www.viewonline.com. He holds a Masters in Education and has won numerous awards for writing fiction and non-fiction. You may reach him via e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com. He’s not human but plays one on TV.

I wish I could say that I have always known exactly what I wanted to do with my life.  But truth be told, I spent most of my more productive years “figuring out” what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be.  And I confess, dear readers, that I was pretty much resolved to be passive in my life – to let life evolve naturally around me and take me where it wanted me to go.

The problem with that philosophy is that “life” really has no plans for anyone.  Life, in the sense of the everyday happenings around us, isn’t a thinking, rational creature that is focused on whether we’re happy or successful or comfortable.  Life is pretty much about survival.  And if you are only focused on survival, it’s not likely you’ll ever be “successful.”

Of course, that begs the question – what the heck IS “successful” anyway?  How is something as esoteric as “success” defined?  Do we have a true and universal measure for it?

Nope.  Success can’t be defined by a text-book definition or a measuring stick of any type.  It is only defined by the individual.  It’s a “point of view” problem, sort of like Einstein’s relativity example.  Einstein used a train and a ball to describe the curve of space and time, and in his example he said that if you throw a ball from a moving train the path of the ball changes according to the perspective of the viewer.  The person throwing the ball sees it dart immediately to one side, taking a radical change of course from what the ball-thrower had intended.  The person standing exactly parallel to the ball thrower sees the ball travel in a straight line, coming closer to him as an observer.  The person standing further along up or down the train’s path sees the ball travel in a straight trajectory that curves downward over time.  In each case, it’s the same ball, the same thrower, but to each observer it was a different event.

The same can be said of “success.”  It’s defined by the user.

Most of the time, success seems to be determined by dollar signs.  If a writer creates a novel and it sells a million copies at full cover price, he’s making pretty good scratch – he’s a success!  But what if the novel only sells 100-thousand copies?  Chances are the writer’s still making a pretty good check, but is he a success?  And what if the book only sells 500 copies?  The money is a great deal smaller at this point, is he successful?  And if it only sold one copy?  None at all?

Most people tend to think of this as being “unsuccessful.”  If the money is low, if nothing sells, if the numbers don’t pan out then there was no success.  But again, this is a matter of perspective.

Some people might consider it quite an accomplishment to even WRITE a book!  Some might consider themselves successful if a publisher agrees to make a run of it!  Some might consider it a dream fulfilled if they have a nice, professionally printed galley of the book to place on their shelves for visitor to see.

The trick here (and really, it’s no “trick” at all but more of a shift in thinking) is to look at every “unsuccessful event” in your life as a DIFFERENT KIND of success.

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, said that he hadn’t failed at all when it took him 10-thousand tries to invent the light bulb.  Instead, he proudly proclaimed that he’d found 9,999 ways how NOT to make a light bulb!  The same principle could apply to your daily life.  You have NOT failed to be financially successful, you successfully ELIMINATED a way to do something the wrong way!

Yeah, it seems kind of corny when you look closely at it.  What it amounts to, though, is a much more positive means of looking at your life.  It’s a much better way to determine what you want to do with yourself.  Heck, it’s just plain more fun than letting yourself be run down and depressed over an unmet goal.

Many people misunderstand the purpose of goals.  Goals are not hard-and-fast rules, they’re not on the “must accomplish” list.  They are targets.  They are something at which to aim.  Accomplishing a goal is wonderful and exciting and energizing, but working TOWARDS a goals is what leads to success.  In the process of working to accomplish a goal, you will discover many other paths, many other GOALS for you to accomplish.  You will refine your target as you work towards it, making it clearer and easier to see.  You will be able to redefine what success means to you as you move towards your goals, even if the goal itself is never fully realized.

I spent a large portion of my life with no goals and no plans, and even though I’ve accomplished and experienced many wonderful things I never felt “successful” until I started setting goals for myself and practicing a continual redefining of “success.”  Now that I put these things into daily practice, I never feel that I’m falling short of success.  I feel that I’m accomplishing it with every task.

Is financial success a worthy goal?  Yep!  You should definitely have a number in mind that you can use as a watermark for success.  But – make sure it stays a water mark and doesn’t become a lid on your success.  Make sure that you are continually redefining what financial success means to you.  When you reach the number, it’s not time to rest and relax!  It’s time to redouble your efforts, to set a new goal and to think of new ways to reach it!

Here is you homework for the week – redefine success!  Take a look at every aspect of your life, from family to finances to fun time, and redefine what it means to be successful at these things.  Set goals, reach them, then reset them.  The result will be a very positive energy that fuels you for more and more success every day.