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Monday, February 21, 2005

Networking

J. Kevin Tumlinson

I don't know why people always look down on the whole "TV as a babysitter" thing. I grew up with TV as my "nanny" and look how great I turned out! Aside from a few issues with recognizing reality when I see it, I'm fairly certain that TV has helped shape my moral and ethical sensibilities and has shown me that no matter what the problem is, it can be solved in half-hour and one-hour increments. Or, if it's a really big problem, there is the occasional "To be continued..." -- a time of rest that occurs in the middle of your problem.

Yes, I turned out fine.

I love TV. I know TV -- it's an old friend, a family member. Some of my fondest memories were dreamt up by a pool of writers and portrayed by SAG backed actors. But even I, with my great love for TV and it's warm glow, am becoming jaded.

I can't put my finger on exactly what started this general malaise. If I had to guess, I'd say it's actually tied to a whole list of things, not just one in particular. So, in a cathartic effort to open my own eyes, I thought I'd share the things about broadcast television that are making me think of turning off the tube and reading a good book instead.

First up, "logos." You know what I'm talking about. Those little translucent icons that appear in the bottom right hand corner of the screen? The sad part is, they've become such a part of television that you may not even notice them anymore (sort of defeats the point, doesn't it?). On the other hand, I can think a few times that they've been very intrusive. Nothing like trying to read a Simpson's sign gag or some sight-based joke through a frosted looking network logo.

I'm not really sure what the purpose of the translucent logo is, actually. We, the viewer, probably already know what network we're watching. And even if we don't, is there really a need to brand a "product" such as a television show if we're ALREADY watching it? And these days, they are there through the entirety of the broadcast. At least in the old days they used to fade in and out every now and then.

Thinking about logos brings me to number two on the list -- "snipes." Once the harmless victim of mass hunting (look up "snipe hunt" online -- you'll like it, I swear), these days the snipe is a much more threatening critter. A snipe is a really intrusive little animated scene that takes place in the bottom third of your screen while you are watching a broadcast. It usually covers a good portion of the picture, blocking your view. And while you're watching a serious moment on, say, "ER," you might also have the joys of watching the little furry acorn chaser from "Ice Age" chase a nut around the bottom of the screen, or you may have to contend with Hank Hill mowing down the grass to reveal the time and date of some "King of the Hill" while you're watching "Nip/Tuck." And it isn't just animation. In the case of our buddy Hank Hill, there very well may be the sound of a lawnmower drowning out the dialogue of the scene.

Next up is an oldie but a goodie -- commercials. I'm going to point out something to you that you may not have thought of just yet. It may irritate you. It may infuriate you. It may send you into convulsions. Or, you may not care about it at all, but it bugs the heck out of me. Here goes -- the majority of people in this country are paying for TV. That's not the earth shaking part. Here it is - we're paying for TV, but we STILL have commercials.

You may not remember this, but for years we were told that commercials were a necessary evil for broadcast TV. In order for us to get our primetime fix for free, we had to endure commercial breaks. That's how the networks made their pay roll. But these days, most of us pay for cable or satellite television. So, if it's no longer free, why are we seeing commercials? Not only that, but there are people out there that are simply infuriated that a service like TiVo might allow people to SKIP commericals, and so they've pushed to have the technology limited so that it allows advertising to be streamed on screen as you fast forward.

These are people who should be tied to chairs and beaten with hammers.

Here's my favorite rant, though. How many times have you started watching a series, loved it, and really thought it would do well only to discover that it was cancelled after episode two or something? I can name at least four series right off the top of my head that I thought were GREAT, and yet they didn't even make it through season one. Why? Not because no one was watching -- the shows generally weren't on long enough for there to be reliable ratings.

In fact, many of these shows are much beloved. And actually, I really can't say why they would just be cancelled for no apparent reason. It seems that the tastes of the viewing public just aren't a consideration. There's some unseen agenda in network television that dictates what does and does not make it.

I'll give you an example... right now, without pausing, name ONE person who has told you how much he or she LOVES "The Simple Life."

Brrrrrrrrt... times up, oh I'm sorry! You won't be receiving the grand prize, but please accept the home version of our game! Now, here's a chance to pick up those lost points. Can you name anyone who has told you that they really liked "Family Guy?" This show had such a rabid fan base that Fox re-signed it after DVD sales went through the ROOF.

I have to say, I'm sick of network television. They have some unseen group that determines what I will and will not watch, without so much as asking me. So I say we ditch 'em.

These days, I've found that I actually watch more shows on DVD than I do on television. I've bought several complete series that were scrubbed from Fox, for example, that ended up being among the best shows I've ever watched. For samples, try watching "Firefly," "Wonderfalls" and "Tru Calling." Great shows, good writing and they never, ever stood a chance. Tru Calling probably had the best odds, since it actually lasted a full season and held on long enough to tape a few episodes for season 2 (six, I think).

So maybe that's the way of the future? Skip the shows while they're on TV and catch up on DVD later? I can live with that. I get to watch it on my schedule, kind of like programming my own network. The studios would still make their money, but maybe the networks themselves would start losing enough revenue that they might change their tune.

Hey, it's a thought. It might take more than an hour to solve that particular problem. Maybe this is a "to be continued" situation?

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline. He holds a Masters of Education. He has worked in film and television production and owns his own production company, Hat Digital Media. If you'd like to e-mail him, you may do so at kevin@viewonline.com. He changes the channel when life gets boring.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Star Trek Now - Part II

Last time, we took a look at current technology that would have been science fiction only a couple of decades ago. Here we go again in part two of our Star Trek retrospective!

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Do you want fries with those isolinear chips?
Everyone has their own favorite piece of Star Trek technology. Some people would give their left leg for a transporter. Others would love nothing more than to get their hands on a holodeck (let's be honest... who WOULDN'T want a holodeck?). Me personally, my favorite bit of Star Trek Tech has to be the replicator.

There's just something about being able to ask for something... ANYTHING... and have it appear in a shimmering light that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Whether it's a cup of Earl Gray (hot) or a replica of a 19th century English novel, your heart's desire is just a casual phrase away.

Well, I'd love to say we have replicator technology, just shelved and waiting to be installed next to the microwave in every home in America. But we don't. What we DO have is something incredibly close -- the right direction, anyway.

It's commonly referred to as the 3-D Fax or 3-D printer. At the moment, the only ones who use it are government contract types. Boeing, NASA and a few others have implemented this amazing and innovative technology into production.

The way it works, basically, is you have a reservoir of resin and a laser. The laser continuously draws the pattern of the 3-dimensional object you want to replicate and "builds" a duplicate using the resin. The result is a perfect duplicate of the SHAPE of the object.

The obvious down-side is that you couldn't replicate anything that was very complex, unless you did it in pieces. But the uses for a technology like this are almost limitless. Think about it... you do a 3-D scan of an object on one side, store it in a computer, and "print it out" when you need it later. There's a real solid use for this sort of technology in the field of space exploration. If a part needs to be replaced on the International Space Station, for example, they just print it out. If they need a tool -- print it out. And let's say that you want to send a probe to Mars in preparation for a manned mission later. You could have the probe build an entire community using the 3-D printing method, and when man first sets foot on the red planet he has everything he needs, already standing and ready to use.

We've come that far, and I don't think it's much of a stretch to go the next step and find a way to convert one time of matter into another. Sort of an "ultimate recycling" effort. In goes a rock, out comes a loaf of bread. Science Fiction? Maybe for now.


Beam me up...
But let's be honest -- the real Star Trek prize would be the transporter. Anyone who's sat through rush hour traffic has wanted one of these babies. You don't even have to be a Trek fan to imagine being able to bypass traffic jams and sit down to dinner in just a few seconds.

Transporter technology would seem to be a complete impossibility. The Heisenberg Principle has it that we can't track the location and movement of a particle at the same time without affecting it. Just by observing it, we change it. The implications of this are that even if you COULD break yourself down into an energy pattern, there'd be no way to put you back together again. And if you could, what came out might not be anything close to what went in.

But those crazy quantum physicists have trouble with words like "impossible." They went out and found a way to "teleport" a single particle using something called "quantum entanglement."

The basic idea behind quantum entanglement is that two particles can become "sympathetic," in that whatever happens to one will happen to the other. The crazy thing is, once two particles become entangled, they remain sympathetic NO MATTER HOW FAR APART THEY ARE! So, Particle A in Houston, TX is entangled with Particle B in China, and when we do something to one it happens to the other! It's also true that if we move Particle B to the Pegasus Galaxy, it's still entangled with Particle A.

Now, those crazy quantum physicists have gone and used this quirk of science to "teleport" a particle. Basically, they entangle two particles that are separated by great distance, faithfully duplicating the quantum state of one in the other. It's all highly technical and complicated, but let's just say the result is a perfect duplicate of Particle A.

The obvious problem here is that now we have two identical particles... but the original still exists! So to complete the teleportation process, Praticle A has to be destroyed (preferably after it has been removed from its entanglement with Particle B). We have disintegration down... we're good at destroying things. Putting things back together, that's a little out of reach at the moment. But we're working on it!

Ok, so we've done this with one particle (actually two particles). We've actually ACHIEVED teleportation on a quantum level. In theory, this could be done for all of the particles in a human being, effectively allowing us to "teleport" him or her to anywhere in the Universe. No distance would be too great. But the fact that this "teleportation" works on a principle of duplication and the destruction of the original raises all kinds of philosophical questions. Like, for example. if Kevin A steps into a transporter and is duplicated on, say, Mars, and then is destroyed on Earth, would Kevin B actually be the SAME Kevin or just a clone with the same memories? Did the original die on Earth? Was a whole new Kevin born on Mars?

Wiggy.

Warped Science
When you think of speed, you're actually thinking of time in relation to distance. How much time does it take to get from Point A to Point B? We Americans measure this in Miles Per Hour (MPH) -- our British counterparts have a much more universally accepted means of measuring it in Kilometers Per Hour (KPH). But the gist is that "speed," in and of itself, is a relative thing. Just ask uber-genius Albert Einstein. He had this whole "relativity" thing down. You know the theory... E=MC^2.

To define these variables -- E stands for "energy." M stands for "mass." C, for some odd reason, stands for "the speed of light." You square the speed of light in this formula (^2). So, Energy = Mass X The speed of light squared.

Beyond the mathematical gobbly-gook, one of the implications of Einstein's theory is that as we approach the speed of light time slows down "relative" to our own perception. The classic explanation is this: You board a space craft capable of traveling at just below the speed of light. You accelerate to top speed, leaving Earth behind. You travel this way for some months, then turn around and come back. To you, only a few months have gone by, but when you arrive on Earth you discover that several YEARS have gone by.

That's a problem for the common space traveler who just wants to visit his buddies in the Andromeda Galaxy over the weekend. It'd be tough to maintain any society, much less a Federation, if every time you jumped to light speed you were leaping ahead in time (there are also OTHER implications, such as increased mass, but I'll save those for another article!). So what's needed is a means of over-coming the speed-of-light-barrier without tripping over relativity.

In Star Trek, this is accomplished by a Warp Drive. The Enterprise generates a "warp bubble," a sort of invisible energy field that kind of folds space around the vessel and pushes it ahead at great speed. I'm no expert on the physics of warp travel, but I think the idea is that you're sort of skipping like a rock on a the surface of a pond, touching down on points in real space and skipping the whole relativity thing.

No one has a clue how to make this happen in the real world, which is a shame. But there may be a "loophole." Or, more specifically, a "worm hole."

Einstein and another fella named Rosen took the idea of relativity and space travel to a whole new level by suggesting something that's now called the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Without getting too technical, the general idea is that there can be curved areas of space that can allow us to tunnel through from one location to another. So you bypass traveling at the speed of light by simply jumping from one location to another.

Think about a bed sheet being held at its four corners by a couple of burly guys. Now, put a golf ball on it. Its mass is enough to dent the fabric of the sheet, causing a slight curved impression. Einstein and Rosen postulated that the same can be said for space and celestial bodies. Planets make an impression, and more massive objects like stars make another. Now imagine that instead of a golf ball you put a bowling ball on the sheet. The great mass makes a greater impression. There's a definite curvature of space at this point.

The idea behind the Einstein-Rosen bridge is that you could curve space to the point where there's a smaller gap between two points. So if I'm a tiny little figure standing on the south side of the bowling ball's indention, I could (in theory) jump the gap and be on the north side in far less time than it would have taken me to travel without the indention.

Also, there's this idea of "wormholes." These are the indentions taken to their extreme. Basically, a wormhole would be the connection of two points in space. If you had two enormous gravity curvatures, for example, you could connect them, drill a hole through them and skip a long distance by going in one and coming out the other.

Of course, at the moment, the only thing we know of that might have the kind of gravitational power we'd need is a blackhole, and so far everything we know suggests you ain't comin' back out once you've gone in. But it's only a matter of time before we figure out a way to manipulate gravity or use some other means to artificially create these curvatures in space and jump from one place to another.

---

Star Trek played with physics in a way that seemed almost like magic at the time. The idea of "Heisenberg Compensators," a short cut for bypassing the uncertainty principle, was pure fantasy back then. But how long until they're a reality?

The notion of using wormholes to bypass the light speed barrier has been explored in Star Trek, but it's far from the only conceivable way of moving from one place to another in a compressed time frame.

Here's the thing... if we can conceive of it, it can be done. We've proven that time and time again. So programs like Star Trek are just as much a call to future scientific advancement as a they are a means of entertainment. Who knows? Maybe some Trekkie will figure out warp travel while he's building his scale model of the Entreprise. More astounding things have happened.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline. He holds a Masters of Education. He has worked in film and television production and owns his own production company, Hat Digital Media. If you'd like to e-mail him, you may do so at kevin@viewonline.com. He would like a cup of Earl Grey, hot.

 
     

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